Honest Answering Machine.

I had to go out and get a new house phone today because the old one has been broken for six months. 

Just because we have the thing doesn't mean I ever intend to actually use it. If the cable company didn't forcefully ram landline service down my throat with out TV and internet package I wouldn't even own one. 

Hopefully I made that point clear in the answering machine message.

My wife does not know I did this. I am probably going to be in trouble.

Worth it.